FIRST GAME, FIRST LOSS

UNDISCIPLINED SPARTANS CAN ONLY GET BETTER

Opposing Goalie Goes for the Man!

"The team definitely got better as the game went on," said Baron, who took over the reins of Captain this year.

The team itself looked both jittery and professional in the early first period.

Tragedy came when the Baron was stricken with a severe muscle affliction.
"One minute I'm standing waiting for the corner, and then I'm down on the ground. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced."

Baron was taken to team physicians and did not return to the field.

The Spartans seemed to tap the old energy of years previous, giving up three goals from within the 18.

"We're not sure what happened," said Gerry Dobson, commentating yet again for the Spartans."They covered the long shots, the obvious passes, but failed to clear the short dribbles, which cost them big".

Hope came in the form of a nifty pass from Kevin to Anders.

Kevin, fresh from his sabbatical in the Jamaican League, was a welcome addition to the Spartans.
"I saw the fresh pass, and let it in the crease for Anders. Text book play!"

Anders, congratulated by the team was more shocked than anything else.
"I scored. I actually scored!" he yelled and ran off the field. He would return later after a celebratory orange.

The game was marked with some controversy.

After the Village Inn goalie cold cocked a Spartan without a card, the Spartans seemed to lose discipline.
"It was embarassing," related F'n J,"that I didn't get a chance to score. But with Baron hobbling on the side like a wounded duck, it was hard to concentrate."

"We had some great chances," Baron indicated on his Soccer Map 3000," but in the end we did a lot wrong that needs to be addressed in the future game Sunday."

STATS:
Kevin (A)
Anders (G)

NET:
Trevor (0-0-1) AVG: 4.00

Man of the Match
Ian

A MAN IN PERSPECTIVE

IS JUSTIN THE "SPARTAN SAVIOUR" OF 2012?

Justin on the Season of his Career?

"The Baron's Cup was a load of shit!"
Strong words from the man formally known as Captain J.
"I mean, I scored and assisted on so many more than what was listed. C'mon! Dave never came close to the on field prowess I had that day. The officials should be fined and fired for screwing me!"

Pundits and Experts agree that Justin is probably the most electrifying Spartan in recent memory to hit the field.

"It's Flyin' J this year folks," greeted F'n J as he signed autographs and kicked the ball around for a special children's camp.

Flyin J has much to atone after his lacklustre 2011. After missing games due to groin issues and failing to score on almost 37 open nets, the young striker is eager to put all that behind him.

"I'm not sure it was quite 37 open nets, but the point is that had I really worked each game, I would have scored three times as many goals. For God's sake, I even got Baron to score!"

The Baron, new captain of the team, was overjoyed with the new spark on the team.
"F'n J joins a new batch of raw recruits. We have Phil fresh from his 18 year hiatus from Team Canada. We have the Suke brothers who played well in the Walloon Regionals, and Scott, who is reportedly holder of the strongest kick in the FAD. I think we're ready to win a game this year, and possibly tie."

Perennial favourite Dave, who is sadly missing the first kick off, was more reflective of the Spartan potential.
"Look, as I see it Flyin' J might score a few goals, but who's going to fish the kettle out of the fire? Me. All me. Me and those shiney boots. Ka-Chow! Now that's stardom!"

While the Spartans may never put on a game that will fill the stands, atleast their crazy antics provide amusement worth every penny!

Kick off for the 2012 season begins May 27th at 1800h.

WARNER BREMEN REPEATS!

SLOW START AWAKENS BARON'S CUP CHAMPION

Kevin gets the Customary Victory Trampling from the team!

This year's Baron's Cup was not one that will be remembered for its great goals, fantatic plays or displays of professional sportmanship. But it will mark the record books as a repeat win for football giants Warner Bremen.

"I'm totally off my pile!" Captain Kevin exclaimed as he drank from the ancient chalice." I'm not even sure if this is that togo party from my college year at Waterloo when I kissed that guy."

Delirious from imbibing the mossy contents mixed with some beer, the Warner Bremen Captain quickly stripped to his knickers and strolled out into the hot evening sun.

Police were quick to respond and curious onlookers were offered medical care.

"I'm not sure what happened," said a dejected Captain Dave of Bayern Holstock." we were just leaving and Kevin comes out and goes streaking. It was horrible...just horrible."

Pundits and Football experts agree that Bayern's 4-2 lead at half was the catalyst.

"The Bayern Holstock players looked sloppy and mishandled in the second," reported Gerry Dobson of TSN," in fact the only man on the field that didn't look like he had started celebrating was Kyle, who scored a hattie in the second."

"Right you are Gerry," commented fellow commenter Craig Forrest," unbelievable as it sounds, Bayern defeated themselves."

Superstar Justin, always a presence on and off the field, secured the Golden Boot for his contribution in delivering Warner Bremen to their second Cup.

"Dave (Bayern Holstock), always tries, but just never finds a way to beat me. It's becoming quite a common place I'm afraid that the old boy simply can't keep up with this young super star!" said J, as he left the field to a waiting limo filled with women and alcohol,"cause that's the way I roll"

Meanwhile, celebrating fans lit fire to numerous trees and garbage cans in a scene more on the lines of a Stanley Cup final. Police were quickly brought in, and horses quickly broke up the 7 man riot.

STATS:

First Half:
Bayern Holstock: 4
Warner Breman : 2

Second Half:
Bayern Holstock: 7
Warner Bremen : 11

BLUE BOOT:
Justin (WB): 4A, 3G = 10 points
Dave (BH) : 3A, 3G = 9 points
Dismo (BH): 3G = 6 points
Chris (WB): 3G = 6 points
Peter (WB): 2G = 4 points
Kyle (BH): 2G = 4 points
Phil (WB): 1G = 2 points
Paul (WB): 1G = 2 points
Paddy (WB): 1G = 2 points
Kevin (WB): 1A = 1 point
Anders (WB):  1A = 1 point
Paul P (Goalie): 1A = 1 point