PRACTICE: Week of July 26th

If anyone wants to run a FootBall practice, please indicate below.

If you're interested in a practice, indicate below. Sometimes people will be into it if someone posts.

We've often commented that this day or that day isn't good. So instead, post a date and see who will come. It may surprise you!

Referee Causes Calamity!

Darlington brings in another great asset

Word in today that Spartan Captain Ian has been brought up on allegations of hatred against the blind.

"All I said was that last game's ref was blind, to have made all those calls," retorted an angry Captain Ian,"I've never had anything against the blind."

"Captain Ian is obviously a closet rascist against the blind," said CNIB spokeswoman Natilla del Reya."No blind person would have ever made calls that bad."

The Spartans lost the game in what some call "the worst officiating of all time" at a Darlington game.

"I challenge the ball, and the next thing I know, I have a dirt and two knees sandwich," said mid-fielder Tyler, who was continuously gunned down by the opponents with no calls.

The final icing on the cake was a red card given to Forward Kevin.

"All I asked was if the Ref needed his glasses cleaned," said Kevin, after an opponent tossed the ball out of the 18 with his hands."I didn't know that the ref was semi-blind."

What followed was what one fan called "unbelievable".

"The ref kept shouting at this tree, telling it to leave the field. We weren't certain what he was on about. I think the only thing that saved the game was Baron's prelude to a beserker rage."

"All I know is Kevin got a red card for no reason, and then the ref goes off on some tangent. Look. I'm here to play Football, not walk around on 4 inch long grass all night for $200 a year," said an angry Baron, who took his antics a step further after the game, challenging the Ref to an "Iron Man Wrestling Match".

"Let it truly be said that Darlington doesn't bring their best officials to these games," said Captain Ian, " so we're stuck with whoever gets out last from the Tartan Saturday night."

The Tartan had no comment.

The Man Returns!

Mark P returns from Europe!

Word today from the Oshawa this Week, indicating that Famed mid-fielder and heart throb Mark P has returned from try outs with Vfl Wolfsburg.
"We sent Mark over as part of an exchange," said Captain Ian," but his replacement never showed up to any games!"
"It was amazing in Germany," an obviously well tanned and well rested Mark commented," we drank lots of beer, partied and visited the red light districts."
Asked about the German training program and where he improved, Mark muttered something incomprehensible and left the interview.
With trying times ahead of the Spartans, who currently sit in the relegation zone, the arrival of their semi-star player is a blessing.
"I don't expect much from him," said Captain Ian," but if he does something, great."
Fans have already responded favourably to the news, and this week's Sparta FC game appears to have sold a ticket, although TicketMaster could not verify whether it was a glitch in the system or not.

PRACTICE : Wednesday, July 21st

Location: Holy Trinity Secondary School, Courtice
Time: 1800h to close

Greetings Fellow Spartan FC players,

Last week's practice went really well. Lots of good ideas and we tried out many new plays, which were used effectively on the pitch on Sunday's game. The Wendy's Frosty's were a real treat!!

So we'll have another practice set up. Come at any time. Late or not, we'll welcome your input and your determination.

Please use the comment button below to indicate whether or not you'll be there.

Spartans Get Closer!

Congrats to Tyler for almost Scoring!!

In a post game conference after their thrilling 4-0 loss, Captain Ian was quite optimistic.
"We controlled the pitch and flow of the game for much of the match," he said," and except for a few lapses, we could have come away with a fairly even draw."
Crowds were hard to control before the match. Once the Spartans started, they left after the other game ended.
"It's very concerning," said GoalKeeper Mark," that I can't get a parking spot until the Girls' team leaves the field."
Under the lights of Famed Hydro Field # 2, the Spartans came under fire.
"You don't have enough for a team," the Referee retorted, angry that he was going to miss another episode of Coronation Street. It was an anger that would build up to produce numerous anti-Spartan calls.
Captain Ian immediately set upon the locals, putting players into uniforms, whether they fit or not.
Once the eight man squad entered the pitch, they completely put a rout to the 16 man opposition.
"It was like we were the better team," said a surprised Kevin, who came inches away from notching his team leading first goal.
"Just think what would have happened had we had a full team with subs!" said Anders, puffing through an oxygen tank after eating too many oranges and taking too many runs.
By half time, the team was shaken by an offside goal, and Dave's ontimer that hit a passing sea gull.
But with one sub, and two injured players, all the Spartans could really hope for was a close draw.
Two quick goals against them, the Spartans came back with a neat kick by Tyler, which just missed the right upper corner.
Conspicuously absent was star mid-fielder Fernando. A van of women, sporting Fernando's name were quickly kicked off the field by Darlington Officials due to copyright infringment. They were later found in a prostitution sting against the same Darlington individuals.
"Let it be said here today," said Captain Ian," that not only did we lose, but we tried our best."

Practice: Thursday July 15th

Hey All,

We're going to run a practice on the 15th of July. I have a few people that are interested, and we'll schedule these more frequently. As long as there's a couple of people, we'll get going with these.

The field I recommend is that field just north of the 401 on Courtice road. It's hidden away, so you have to watch for it.

We'll go over some moves and drills to hone our skills.

Spartans Come up Short in Heart Break Loss

Ref refuses to believe Kevin that Sparta has scored.

TSN exclusive

"This is a moment that all will remember with pride and elation!" said a happy Captain Ian.
Long having been ridiculed by both owners and fans alike, the Spartans finally delivered a nifty little header into the opponent's net.
"I'm used to seeing them score on themselves," said one Spartan fan,"so it's great to actually see them put one past the other goalie!"
Commentators on the TSN blog were temporarily stunned by the goal, which caused the twitter server to go down.
"I haven't seen this much excitement since South Africa," said Blog of God, TSN's number one Blog Administrator.
"It was sheer bedlam," said scorer Fernando." I'm not sure what happened. There was this ball, it came to me, and I neatly tucked it to bed."
Moments later, the referee cautioned Fernando, after the Forward attempted to steal the game ball, "for posterity".
The post goal celebration was a bit much for the often loved Spartan.
"Baron gives me this big bear hug, and then the team's all over me. I felt like Lindsay Lohan after a bout on the town..."
Fernando merchandise sprouted up on eBay, including a pair of underwear currently at $1.50 CAD.
Although the Spartans ended up on the short end of the pitch, their performance gives new hope as the season reaches half way. Die hard fans even stayed until the final whistle, opting to endure the thirty second wait to get out of the parking lot.

Spartan Practice! -- July 7th

If anyone is interested in a practice, please leave comments of when and where. We can take a field in Oshawa, Courtice, etc. Courtice HS may be good.

I need to improve my game, so I'll go even if there's three people. As long as we can try some things and strengthen our game.

Spartan Fans outraged!!

Fight night for the Spartans!

It was supposed to be the culmination of prestigious planning.
It turned out to be a lesson in the failures of human officiating.
"This is the greatest affront to football since the Wembly Goal," said Mick Jaggger, who raced from South Africa to view the return of Captain Ian and the new Spartan team.
Spectators were delighted, initially, to see the Spartans thrust their offensive and miss a goal from the right post. Spartan fans, donning the grey, white and black, cheered from the stands.
"That Fernando, he's so dreamy," said one fan, who decided he'd go topless.
Then, the moment that crushed the dreams and hopes of those on hand.
"The officiating... is ...horrible," said a departing Bill Shatner.
As the goals mounted against the good guys, the stands became more and more empty. By the seventh goal, even the homeless men had left.
Things look even worse for Spartan fans. Fernando took a red card, after a tall Shooters player fell on his head and accused the ex-Barcelona midfielder of physical attack. As Fernando laughed, the referee took out the card, much to the chagrin of his fan.
"That referee don't know yellow from green," remarked Joe, president of the Fernando Rulez Club.
Captain Ian noted that there were a good many things that did work, but the majority didn't. "and that's good for Football in general" said the returning Spartan captain.