COACH'S CORNER

OBSERVATIONS FROM DECEMBER 9th GAME

Baron Says:
The key to playing largely superior teams is to worry less about the score, and worry more about not make the same mistake.

What Went Right:
In the first half, our team was only down by one goal. This means that there was good defensive work. The man was covered, enabling our goalie to cover the ball.

Jeremy's blast from long distance is a case in point. Don't walk the ball in. If you think you have the chance, take it.

What Went Wrong:
Wrong people for the right job. Don't  assume a role that you can't fill. Let someone on the field and leave your ego at the arena door.

Passing was just awful. If you're bringing up the ball, and there's two defenders in your way, probability states that you won't go through them. Pass to the clear man...who may have a shot.

Working on the rush. If we're rushing, our ball carrier needs options. Be the open man.

Play the second opening as the first. Lock them down, pay meticulous attention to the defensive.

December 16th:
We continue with the 3-3-0

We continue to stress defense first and foremost. Opponents will get frustrated when we play OUR game and not theirs.

The CB position isn't for everyone. I'll be watching closely and reassigning  the role as needed.

Don't wait to be in the 18 for a shot on net. Mix it up and test fate.

We don't need a Cherry picker...if they're on us, better to stop a goal than potentially get one.

This is the last game of the season. Play with some joy in your heart. Positive playing will generate chances. It sounds dumb, but it's true.

STATS:
Jeremy (G)

Man of the Match:
Ross

COACH'S CORNER

THIS WEEK: WHAT WE TAKE AWAY FROM DEFEATS

The Baron Says:

Winning is great. Losing sucks. But we learn more from losing than winning.

ON LAST NIGHT'S GAME:

There was a lot of improvement out there on the field.

- we did more close passing.
- we did more covering of opposing players.
- communication was acceptable

There were lots of weaknesses that only a stronger team could exploit. By getting drubbed, we can actually see what went wrong and improve.

- we didn't clear the ball in times of emergency
- we weren't covering opponents on the rebound
- we spent too much time chasing them over the field

What we should be doing:
1. Our entire team should be converging on their attackers. Covering players, chasing players who move into better positions (i.e. covering your man). Communicating so that if you see a man open, you let people know who's being covered. Covering the area of the pass. etc.
2. We can't chase them or the ball inside their half when we don't have a clear chance to get the ball. It opens us up by creating holes. We need to let those balls go, and stick with real chances.
3. Preserve the defence at all times of attack. When we're on the defensive, every man MUST get back and participate, or be ready to participate. When we have control, we can move it forward. Kick the ball out to gain time if you must.
4. Don't be afraid to challenge for the ball. Go shoulder to shoulder. Bump into your opponent. Keep fighting for the ball. Remember to keep it clean, but don't be afraid to get a little dirty.
5. No cherry pickers. We're not playing that style. If you're not covering a man, you're not helping.
6. Concentrating on set pieces to get our moments; free kicks, out of bounds kicks, goal kicks, corner kicks. There's enough of those to get goals. If, during normal play, you have a chance, take it!
7. Go with your gut. This might give you an opportunity to ignore the above rules. But I want each of you to trust yourself. Don't second guess your motives. Act with them.

Next Game:
We stick with the 3-3-0.

It's a team we haven't played against. So I advise more caution to defense until we "feel out" that team.

More smart playing. Be a participant, not an observer.

STATS:
Ross

SUPERSTAR JUSTIN UPSET

BOYCOTTS NEXT GAME DUE TO MAN OF THE MATCH ERROR

Justin Argues with Offical after Tyler gets the Credit

Angry words were spoken in the Spartan changeroom after Coach Baron had to separate Tyler and Justin after post game fistacuffs.

"I'm the one who won the game, and Tyler...TYLER of all people gets the honour?" Justin was heard yelling during the fracas.
"He's just a two bit hack."

"I may be a two bit hack," retorted Tyler, after accepting his man of the match bonus," but I"m the one that got the goals and hit it hard. Justin's just old and needs a cane on field."

Emotions rode high after the duo participated for a goal and assist each.

"It's like this," explained Justin as he got into his Porsche 911," I bring the Spartans hope. I come, I help them win, and this is how I get repaid. Just weak dudes, just very weak."

Coach Baron was not willing to play any games with his players. After a talking between the two, it was decided that Justin's contract would be frozen for a game.

"That's also BS...it was my decision to leave the Spartans. I'm busy that day anyways." Justin was quoted as telling reporters.

GAME 5: COACH's CORNER

FIRST WIN OF SEASON REVEALS STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

The Baron Says:

There's nothing sweeter than a hard earned win. It builds lost confidence, and gives hope where the gut check fails. Well done gentlemen...this game was well deserved!

Laurels:
- there was much more communication
- there was more controlled defending
- there was more controlled movement
- there was confidence in leading an attack
- lots of quality shots on net

Darts:
- substitution was not where it should be (2 min max!)
- our defending was still not where it should be (some players avoided defending)
- some of you looked lost during certain plays (?why?)

Summary:
We deserved to win by 5 or more goals. The opposing net minder was truly an inspiration to behold. He robbed us of what should have been a rout. Their goal was simple bad luck for us.

OUR COMING PLANS
Formation:
3-3-0 stays.

Executing Play
I want each of you to feel comfortable running attacks up field, whether defender or midfielder.
We played excellent counter attack football.
We make all efforts to defend...including forwards! Everyone must cover the play to ensure that the opposing team cannot score.
On kick ins, we arrange ourselves for the run at the net. Same for ANY set piece play.
Our guys should be ready to accept the goal kick offering.
If they attack...defend...defend...DEFEND. We should have six men clogging their play, challenging them physically, and looking for the counter attack.

Examples of great play:
Example 1:
Red came down the side. Baron cut off the ball carrier. The ball carrier sends one to an open man. Abe was there to challenge and take the ball from the Red player.
It could have very easily been a goal, but Abe had presence of mind to shift from forward to defense. This saved our momentum and almost led to a goal!

Example 2:
Tyler has the ball after some swift minded defending. He decides that he has a run. Justin is an option which Tyler takes. Peter and Mark close the defense, so Tyler shifts his position to attacker. He declares himself open to Justin, accepts the easy pass and nails one into the twine.
In this case Tyler went with his gut, used some smarts and led us to our first goal. He used communication to let Justin know where he was, and then took the shot. That's smart counter attacking!

Final Words:
Not every game is going to be this easy. Each man should take one thing they did wrong and learn from it. Improve! Each failure should make you a better player...not worse.
Thanks guys, for a job well done.

STATS:
Justin (A)
Tyler (G)
Jeremy (GWG)
Tyler (A)
Justin (G)

NET:
Ross (1-0-4) AVG: 6.00

Man of the Match
Tyler

GAME 4 : COACH's CORNER

ANOTHER LOSS, BUT A LOT OF LEARNING

Guys, here's my breakdown for the game:

The Good:
A lot of you were giving your best. You hustled, you played hard, and you didn't give up.

The Bad:
Lack of Communication. All the great effort went to waste, because no one was talking on field. On the bench you guys were like old friends.

The Ugly:
Substitutions were horribly done. People were waiting on the bench for minutes on end. Not only is this not fair, its disrespectful to your fellow team mates.

PLANS FOR NEXT GAME

Here are some improvements that we'll institute next game.

No positional subbing
By this point you should know your comfort zone. I want to allow people to move around. We need to shake things up. So I'm not designating players for positions except on the opening halves. Let's see what you can do.
Subbing was horrible. I had to wait seven minutes before I called someone off. You should be changing every 2-3 minutes. Another player I won't mention was off 10 minutes.

Formation:
3-3-0
Listen...I want to give us some leeway in deciding when to attack and defend.
In this formation, the Defenders act as defense (obviously) when the opponent presses. They switch to mid field on the attack.
Midfielders act as midfielders on the defense. They switch to forwards during the attack.

Passing:
One bad thing we're doing is not following the ball carrier.
When someone has the ball, I want there to be atleast two players to accept the easy pass.
For example:
Peter brings the ball up the side. Scott follows him to the side, keeping open for a pass. Anders assumes a position ahead. Baron slips behind for the option. It's simple. It's what we should be doing.

Communication:
Starting this game, start working on your verbal skills. Let players know if they're free and clear. If there's an opponent coming. If you're open.
So, adding to our passing story above.

The opponents are crashing our net!
Baron yells to Scott to cover a man. Ross notices an incoming and yells to Baron to cover the middle. Pass intercepted!
Pete yells to Baron that he's open. Baron passes and follows behind. Scott runs to the side, indicating that he's open. Anders fills in the front and says he's open. Pete passes to Anders. Abe and Chris are in the centre. Scott and Pete become Anders' options. Baron stays back to defense. Now Anders has a plethora of avenues. Does he lob it into the centre for a header to the twine, or does he pass to Scott for a blister?

OVERALL POINTS
Guys, we need to practice this every game. These very principles are what our own opponents are using against us.

IDEA
We need to practice more as a team, in a less competitive environment. I'm thinking that we should gather who we can and attend the free times at the Civic. Play as a team and practice. I'll get some times and let you know what's available.

STATS:
Anders (PK)
Scott (A)
Justin (G)

NET:
Ross (0-0-4) AVG: 6.75

Man of the Match
TBD

SUPERSTAR RETURNS SUNDAY

FANS ARE "REVVED" AT JUSTIN's RETURN

Justin's Back after his European Tour!

"Mix a couple of Abes in, a few Anders, maybe a Baron and that's just the beginning of how cool I am," taunted Justin, who will make his first appearance as a guest midfielder this Sunday.
"I'm Super Star J! I run this SH-T! I instantly give your team a real chance to win and some credibility!"

In previous years, the former all star had won the golden pear, and was instrumental in making the Spartan name a household mechansim.

"I really don't care who he is," replied Pete in a pre-shower interview," but I hope he wears pants. I'm tired of players thinking they can score without pants."

The Baron was enthused about the reunion of the two old friends.
"J is probably one of the most electrifying elements in professional football today. His only weakness is an open net. He's 0 and 79 with those. But on gritty and beautiful shots that hit the twine, he's second to none."

After an amiable split post Spartan Outdoor disaster, the two friends have attempted to come to terms with J's total awesomeness.

As Captain of his co-ed team, J has trounced the opposition, and left any pretenders long in the dust.
"Adding women to a team gets the juices flowing," advised the master of football trix," and that's why my team is better."

Others were not so certain, including Anders who is on a one game point streak.
"J is just distracting," confirmed the young midfielder," after all, who can play with all those cameras flashing and women screaming. At one point we had a guy run on the field and try to dry hump his leg."

"I take that all in stride," finalized the Baron." It's a game for the fans, and we're looking for the up!"

COACH's CORNER

THIRD GAME REVEALED MUCH ABOUT THE TEAM!

Guys,

We're coming close now to finding our niche. Each loss has been analyzed and sorted.

Weaknesses:
The most glaring weakness is our defense.

We're not covering the man. Out of the 18 goals scored against us, only three were quality goals. The rest were passes to a man that was wide open and uncovered. A simple guarding of open men would have cut down the goals against!

Remember that the goalie will worry about the ball. Our job in defense is to guard a man and make sure that there's no shot on net!

The mid fielders should be participating in the defending of the net. The only guy that shouldn't be near the net is our forward, who should be skulking about, shaking his shadows and preparing for a quick pass to launch at the net.

Strengths:
The mid fielders and forwards are starting to get the hang of short passes and hitting the net. This is a big improvement from last year. We're taking shots, quality shots, and operating better with each game.

Subbing:
I'm a little concerned about subbing.

If you're on for more than 2-3 minutes you aren't working your potential.

I want to see better work in this regard. Don't let your team mates down.

This Week:
We will try a 3-2-1 formation.

Emphasis on stopping the enemy from hitting our net.

Mid fielders should be ready for a quick counter attack.

The forward should move around and keep in their end for a quick pass...keep yourself open at all times!

STATS:
Kyle (A)
Abe (G)
Anders (A)
Scott (G)
Jeremy (A)
Scott (G)

NET:
Ross (0-0-3) AVG: 6.00

Man of the Match:
Abe

GAME TWO: COACHES CORNER

3 - 2 LOSS REVEALS IMPROVEMENT!

Guys, this team we played was very good. They knew how to pass, shoot and play. In fact, they were better than the team last week.

Here's our breakdown:

Laurels:
- we did less on the dump and chase. It's still a problem, but I think that we're making progress.
- we were defending better. We're still not there, but atleast there's improvement.

Darts:
- we weren't following the play with open men; the ball carrier had no easy pass
-  there's no communication on field -- you guys should be knowing names by now!

Causes for Concern:
- some players were operating while gassed. If you can't keep up with the play, it's time to sub. Plain and simple.

Plans for Next Game:
We're going to try a 2-2-2. We may move people around as time permits. The focus will be to find a formation that works for our team.

STATS:
Abe (PK)
Scott (A)
Jeremy (G)

NET:
Ross (0-0-2) AVG: 4.5

Man of the Match:
TBD

SPARTANS LOSE GAME ONE

THERE'S LOTS TO LEARN FOR THE SEASON BOYS!

Coaches Corner:

Well boys, we took one on the chin first game. I expected as much...we brought a lot of people from different teams together.

First thing is not to let this sort of thing get to us. We're going to need time to gel as a team. A lot of you didn't even meet the others until game day. Names will come with time.

What we need to do is work the obvious:

LEAKY DEFENSE

When you assume the defensive, cover the man and not the ball. If you cover the man, you deny a pass that the goalie can't make. If the goalie can trust you in covering the player, he can concentrate on the shot.

Try to delay the attacker by blocking him. Help is coming from the mid-field. Sometimes it's a matter of a second or two.

Don't EVER give up. If they shake you, harass them! It's harder to shoot with someone on you than if you have a break-a-way.

SHORT PASSES

The long ball won't work in this type of venue. Short quick passes to bring the ball up.

Although some of you are excellent with your feet, it's too easy to get stopped on a short field.

If you have the ball, look for the easy pass as you're cornered by the defensive unit.

If you are moving with the play, stay open for the easy pass! Don't let your shadow keep up with you.

These are the two biggest failings of the first game. Think about these as we challenge our next opponent.

STATS FROM GAME 1:
Baron (A)
Jeremy (G)

NET:
Ross (0-0-1 AVG: 6.00)

Man of the Match
The Baron

STAR DEFENDER TO BE MIA

WILL TEAM PROFITS SUFFER?

Will a MIA Peter affect Ticket Sales?

With one week to go before opening kick off, The Spartans will be without the sexiest man in Professional Football today.

"I am sad to announce that due to contractual obligations, Peter will not be attending the first game," revealed a shaken Captain Baron.

"It's a damn shame," commented Anders,"We'll be missing our most charismatic player."

Last year, women were ejected from the stands after disrobing, overcome by the primal sexual energy of the Spartan defender. In the game against Toronto FC, the accidental removal of his shorts sent female fans into a frenzy. This would later be termed "the mini-baby boom".

Without their Ninja skilled defender, the Spartans will be relying upon the likes of Tyler and former playgirl model Mark.

"I have the highest respect for my remaining members, and will ensure that our roster is full by making call ups from our farm team in the FAW." confirmed Captain Baron.

HIGH HOPES FOR 2012 - 2013

FANS ARE EXCITED ON THE NEW LOOK INDOOR SPARTANS



Let's ReCap!

 Fans are excited at the new look of the Indoor Spartans for the 2012 - 2013 Seasons.

"I have many new faces this year, and many new aspirations," said Coach Baron," and this makes the season one of great hope!"

As with years past, this year's team features many superstars.

Pundits, though, are awaiting the return to professional sports, of Scott, former FAW Man of the Year and news sweet heart.
"Before Scott left, he was a tour de force within the Darlington Leagues. A feared component in his time, it was felt that Scott left before his prime." revealed Gerry Dobson of TSN.

Pretty boy Mark makes his return after a two year hiatus.
"I'm training 24-7," explained the former high velocity defender," and will be ready...hopefully, well, yeah, hopefully"

Tickets go on sale at TicketMaster October 15th. Get yours before the scalpers get theirs!

SPARTAN AWARDS - 2012

THE WINNERS AND NOMINEES FOR THE 2012 SEASON



Trevor is Eager for a Trophy!

 Things hit a fevered pitch tonight as the Spartans handed out their awards.

For some it was as disappointing as the season they "played". Others saw this as a last minute redemption towards securing a spot for next year.

Let's see some of the highlights:

FLOP OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Adam
Winner: Adam
Despite paying a season's fare, the youngster showed for three games.

PLAYER OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Mark, Dismo, Justin, Phil
Winner: Mark
Despite his losing record between the pipes, Mark kept the Spartans in games where they couldn't produce.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Matt, Dismo, Phil, Dan
Winner: Dismo
Dismo showed that he was in complete ownership of the Golden Orange, and his style of play was well regarded by both team mates and opponents.

MEDIOCRE PLAYER OF THE YEAR
Nominees: Paul, Sam, Trevor
Winner: Sam
Although he didn't improve his style this year, Sam never lost the skill that he had.

MOST IMPROVED PLAYER
Nominees: Carmen, Kyle, Baron
Winner: Carmen
Not enjoying the first half of the season, Carmen stepped up his yearning to be a potent force, and finished within the top three players.

GOLDEN ORANGE '12
Winner: Dismo
The Rookie Sen-Sation accumulated the most points to walk away with the trophy in a laughable manner.

SEXIEST PLAYER
Nominees: Kevin, Phil, Ian, Justin
Winner: Phil
The Rookie was highly visible in all the games he played, racing around the field like a maniac with a running shuffle that would put Usain Bolt to shame.

WORST PLAY:
Nominees: Ian, Paul, Justin, Mark
Winner: Paul
Although a great keeper, Paul was unable to move when confronted with a penalty kick

BEST TEAM PLAYER
Nominees: Matt, Baron, Justin, Dave
Winner: Justin
Although the former super star was unable to generate many goals, he was always there to help where needed as the play required.
Special Mention: Matt
It goes without saying that the Rookie came into his own the second half of the season and really showed his stripes out on the pitch.

SEXIEST GOAL:
Nominees: Carmen, Dismo, Anders, Matt
Winner: Carmen
In a shot that Abe timed and levelled perfectly off the Corner Kick, Carmen found the Header and sent the ball into the twine.

Runner up:
Winner: Matt
Having placed himself on the isolated part of the field, Matt received the ball and planted it firmly behind the keeper and into the net.

BEST COME BACK
Winner: Baron
Having torn his left calf muscle in the first half of the first game, Baron demonstrated his determination to get back on the field, and was a force in the last two games of the playoffs.

SEASON LOST

ANOTHER DISAPPOINTING YEAR BY OUR MEN!

Fans are Upset!

With the season ended, Coach Baron reflected upon the year's results.

"Obviously I'm disappointed with our loss at the playoffs. We owned that team all year, and I don't think injuries had anything to do with it. The simple fact was that we had too many players and not enough team mates."

Down 4 goals to 1, the Spartans started a strong first half. They kept possession 85% of the time, and were in the opponent's zone 80% of the initial 45 minutes.

"Can't buy a goal!" said F'n J at half time.

With so much on the line, things were jostled around to encourage more offensive power.

But the rivals scored first, on a goal that was just soft enough to confuse Mark.

From there, Darlington FC continued to dominate, and pocketed another just moments later.

The only ray of light came from Carmen, who was quick to pocket the offering deflection and into the net with a curved shot.
"If that kind of ball gets to me, I'll send it into the twine," laughed Carmen, who had his most successful season.

With darkness overtaking the pitch, the Referee called the game, albeit 10 minutes early.

"Overall, we started the season very well, and recorded some very nice wins, and close losses. But later in the season we forgot everything that we did right, and went back to last year's efforts." explained Coach Baron.

STATS:
Carmen (1)

NET:
Mark (2) (1-0-11 AVG: )

Man of the Match:

BRING ON THE REMATCH!

Spartans!

Game two is all about Sacrifice.

For 90 minutes (give or take a few minutes depending on the officiating) you'll be asked to give it your all.
You need to learn from you failures! Improve and grow as a man to the better!

I've attempted to lead by example. I played hard, adjusted my play from those times when I failed, and never gave up. I sacrificed my own playing time so that my players could play, and play well.

A good player is one that will use his abilities as he would use his arms, hands and feet in a daily routine. Without thinking, just doing without regard to what goes on around him.

A great player will hone his senses. His legs, eyes, feet and body become a tool with which to move the play. His heart will show and become contagious. He will encourage others to soar when they wish to lay. A great player will not be defined on how skillful he is...but how he performs under pressure in the chase to win!

This Sunday each of you have the opportunity to show what kind of person you truly have become.

You will Sacrifice yourselves, work for the team, and work for the win that you deserve.

Game One of Playoffs:
STATS:

Goals:
Dismo (PK)

Net:
Mark (4) (1-0-9)

Man of the Match:
Justin

SPARTANS LOSE LAST GAME

INJURIES CAUSE CONCERN FOR PLAYOFFS

Triumph and Tragedy in 18 Parts

Spartans!

Overall, I have to say that I am pleased with the season.

This year I made a number of changes, and I think (for the most part) that they were effective.

We centered upon finding each person their role on the team, and experimented to find the best out of each man.

We had a lot of injuries, and a lot of players that were overloaded in other aspects of their social lives.

The First Half of the season really showed promise. We won one, tied one (which was my target) and kept all games very close. Our Lads showed real team work. Most games were lost by one goal. And we actually played the best against the team that took the league by almost 20 points.

In the Secon Half of the season, we started losing a lot of our players from injuries. Players got frustrated, which accounted for some poor showings. It was my intention that each man would hold themselves accountable in terms of discipline. The Gods know how I felt, but adhered to my own words of not boiling over. Some of you learned. For others it will be a learning experience.

We faltered for the most part. Forgot what made us great in the First Half of the season. It seemed many of you just packed it in for the last three games. And that's a shame, because it means you didn't enjoy yourselves. And enjoyment in the game is one of the keys to winning.

We did pick up two wins, which again was ahead of my target.

With the Playoffs up for grabs, we really need to find ourselves again. Go back to what made the team work. In that mindset, I need each and every player to dig deep and play as a "well oiled machine".

Remember, you get what you give!

Thanks for a good regular season...and your efforts for the upcoming playoffs.

Game 6 of 6 Stats:

Net:

Mark (4) (1-0-8)

Man of the Match

Carmen

MAYOR DENOUNCES SPARTANS

ANOTHER LOSING SEASON MAY MEAN MOVING THE CLUB!

"Enough is enough," yelled Mayor Tommy Shanks at the end of Monday's Game."Either shape up or ship...OUT!"

Unkind words were abounding in Oshawa, as the drubbing hit home to residents.

"Looks like we got ourselves some Maple Leafs" commented one fan.

"what has 42 legs and lives in the basement?" joked another," the Spartans."

Michael Ballack, long time fan of the Spartans had these points to make after the game:

1) they lose the ball 95% of the time on the dump and chase

2) they didn't challenge for the ball 80% of the time

3) they challenged their opponents 35% of the time, and won 90% of those challenges

4) they completed 95% of their short passes. In fact, the short pass was their best option if:

5) they kept passing options open (60%)

With one game left, a win would salvage a season that has already shattered expectations.

"We've got a better record than any other season," reported Coach Baron," and it would be a damn shame to end this season on a whimper."

STATS:

Mark (7) (1-0-7) AVG:

MAN OF THE MATCH:
Abe

DISMAL SHOWING FOR OUR LADS

OSHAWA MAYOR HAS BANNED PUBLICATIONS OF GAME

Due to the disaster of Sunday Oshawa Mayor Bill Hansley has passed a Council ban on all information stemming from the "game".

"Under no circumstances are we to discuss that this game ever happened. I have called the Baron into my chambers to explain this ludicrous display I beheld last night."

STATS:Mark (6) (1-0-6) AVG:

MAN OF THE MATCH:
Phil

SPARTANS WIN MATCH

HIGH FLYING TEAM WORKS WELL FOR THE WIN!

Fans Come Out and Aren't Disappointed

"I feel good," said Coach Baron after the come from behind victory,"and so do the lads. It's a good time all around."

Things started quite poorly though, when the opposing side got their first goal.
"It was a weird bounce," commented Keeper Mark," and it just got past me and the guy walked it in."

Things started to improve, especially when Abe went into the 18 all alone. Tackled from behind, the penalty kick was not stopped, leading Dismo to his first goal in a while.
"I visualized a goal," replied 'Mo to reporters," and so it was."

Minutes later, a misjudge by the Spartan defence left Mark alone and a goal against him.

Things jumped back and forth during the first half, with the Spartans looking a bit off centre. With so many missing on the pitch, it looked like another disaster in the making.

With minutes left to play in the first half, Abe sent a beautiful corner kick against the far pole, and Carmen was there to send the header home.
"It's all precision timing and workmanship," stated Carmen,"almost like that BMW that I want to own. BMW is the choice of champions like me!"

At the Half, Coach Baron let loose with the customary Oranges and mid game analysis.

Spurred on by the words of their Mighty Coach, the Spartans looked like a team possessed.

Shot after shot went to the DFC net. Off the cross bar by Dismo. Just missed by Sam. Where was Dave to down a passing Air Liner?

Then the unspeakable!

Matt, having proved this day to be his and his alone, took a pass from Ian and made no mistake. It hit the twine and the celebrating Spartans were on top to stay.
"I felt a lot of confidence today," revealed Matt," and figured that I'd take the defensive hole to pocket my goal."

"I have a lot of respect for Matt today," laughed a joyous Baron,"he showed a lot of heart and probably played his best game today."

With the Spartans smelling blood, they attempted time and time again to get another goal.

It would be Paul, with this second of the season, to send the game out of reach.
"For a while I was trying stuff. But I decided to use my height and here we go!"

Fans were overjoyed by the win, and the excitement spilled into Downtown Oshawa. Numerous arrests were made, including members of the FAW for public urination.

"Overall it proved that we were capable of winning," Coach Baron professed," and that we can work as a team. Next week's game will be more difficult, but the lads can pull it off."

STATS:
GOALS:
Dismo (PK)
Abe (A)
Carmen (G)
Ian (GWA)
Matt (GWG)
Paul (G)

NET:
Mark (2) (1-0-5) AVG:

Man of the Match:
Matt

OUT MANNED SPARTANS DESTROYED

LACK OF SUBS KILLS CHANCES FOR HOME TEAM

Carmen Works his Magic

"The only thing that beat us was our lack of substitutes," said Coach Baron in a post game interview.

Indeed, the Spartans looked fresh and excited...all nine of them as they started the game. The score was quickly 1-0 for the Visitors.

Luckily, albeit late, their team mates arrived, but not in sufficient numbers. Coach Baron and Ian were forced into play just so that their mates could catch some air.

The Spartans made some nice plays, and seemed to control the ball more with their own pace in mind.

But the large picture showed that the offensive couldn't deliver much needed shots on the twine.

By half time our heroes were down by two.

The Second half started well, but the tired Spartans could only muster a few half hearted attempts.

But with Ian on the offensive, a blooper was misjudged by the enemy defense and Carmen curved a beautiful shot past the diving keeper.

"I love those shots," explained Carmen," and I'll do it again. Just watch me."

But with their opponents changing regularly, the mid-fields and defense started to run out of gas.

"There's lots of things to consider," stated Coach Baron,"and one of those is that if we make call ups, some of the team won't be playing."

STATS:
GOALS:
Carmen (1)

NET:
Mark (4) (0-0-5) AVG: 3.00

Man of the Match
Phil

SPARTANS TEAM UP FOR THE WIN

DEPLETED VILLAGE INN TEAM DOESN'T FILL ROSTER

Downtown Oshawa endures Spartan Fever!

Spartan Fans were overjoyed with the first win of the second half of the season.

"It may not have been the prettiest of wins," stated Coach Baron," but it's a win, and a team win at that."

The team came together when it counted the most. With the long weekend in full swing, many decided to avoid the game alltogether.

"We had a full squad, plus one substitute," said Coach Baron," and that's all we needed."

The Village Inn, long time rivals of the Spartans, couldn't muster a full squad. They left the pitch in disgrace, but not before enjoying leftovers from the cottage.

"I personally want to thank each team mate that decided to come out and hit the pitch. I know that it was a long weekend, and that the schedule got screwed up, but in the end, a full team did show. And that's what team play is all about. I mean, we could have taken the double forfeit. But by having a full team, and a substitute, we send a clear message to the League that we're passionate about Football...that we care, and we won't let the team down when the team needs us the most!"

SPARTANS SHINE IN LOSS

LOSE CLOSE AFFAIR TO SECOND PLACE TEAM

Anders Gets Some Revenge!

"It's a game with mixed emotions," stated Baron in his traditional post game interview at the Royale in Whitby."The lads played an amazing first half, lost some charm in the second half, but regained it again for the last 20 minutes. It's a game we were simply unluckly to lose."

Baron juggled his offensive staff about after the Shooters found a way past Mark with two goals in the first half.

"They were good goals," revealed the impressive Spartan Keeper.

The change, largely ineffective, saw the Spartans switch from a controlled passing affair to a dump and chase experiment. Gone were the close shots by F'n J, Scott and Baron.

The lone Spartan goal came after some shenanigans by the Shooters against Paul.

"The guy takes a clump outta my back," yelled Paul, who revealed claw marks on his back,"and these aren't my wife's. She's a lot tougher than that bloke."

As the Referee looked on, he allowed the shot to proceed and Anders popped in the rebound.

"At first I thought the Ref was going to call the blatant foul against Paul," said Anders," but he had no intention and let us play the advantage."

"We learned a lot from the game, and we'll be better equipped to win our last few games," prophesized Baron.

STATS:

GOALS:

Anders (1)

NET:

Mark (2) (0-0-4) AVG: 2.75

Man of the Match:
Mark

SPARTANS PLAY BADLY

GOALTENDER ONLY GEM IN CRAPPY LOSS

Mark finds his Skillz again

It was one of those games that could have easily been forgotten.

"The Spartans looked like they'd never played together in their lives," said one pundit from CBC.

Another poor showing has left the Spartans in the bottom half of the standings, and worse for wear. That is, except for Goalkeeper Mark, who seems to have found his old groove.

"I felt good out there." replied the Spartan goalkeeper.

Years ago, Mark arrived at half season to save the team from relegation. After last week, he found his groove and made the saves look easy, including a penalty shot.

The Spartans struggled often, and seemed to look like the '92 NY Rangers.

They only sported a few chances, including F'n J getting hauled down within the 18.

"Last man rules, Ref," shouted the angry superstar," C'mon!"

"It's ultimately my fault," indicated Baron," we have to make some changes, and ensure that this does not happen again. Every game from now on is a playoff game."

STATS:

NET:
Mark (0-0-2) AVG: 2.50

Man of the Match
Mark

SPARTANS HUMBLED IN LOSS

BEATEN BY TEAM OF GREAT POTENTIAL

Stone's Throw is a Top Team for a Reason!

It was the game that almost didn't happen.

"The Stone Throw's Captain and I decided to have a scrimmage game," told Coach Baron," after the Ref didn't show. But, 40 minutes later there he is. But he had to leave by 8pm to pick up his kids, so the game was shortened to allow for this..."

The Spartans quickly showed that they were no match for this 9 man team. In the first 20 minutes, they were up 2 - 0.

"It was horrible," said F'n J," Dave bent over to tie his shoe and I saw his soccer butt."

"Hey, that's my schtick!" yelled an absent Kevin.

Although Stone's Throw proved to be much better in the first 25 minutes, the Spartans proved to be products of a late start.

They improved their team work, but were continuously shut down despite some on field heroics up front by the Baron.

In fact, the only shot on net came from Anders, who tried a variety of clever and wierd moves to let a blooper into the 18 that was snatched up by the goalie.

"Had to try something," the ex-Bayern Muenchen player replied.

Mark, goaltender for the second game, was instrumental in keeping the Spartans from getting buried.

"Overall, there's not much to be ashamed about," said Captain Baron,"they were the better team, and I think we learned a lot from this game."

STATS:

NET:
Mark (0-0-2) AVG: 3.00

MAN OF THE MATCH
Dave

HEARTBREAK LOSS

REFEREE PLAYS 13TH MAN FOR OPPONENTS

Hapless Spartans get the one of the left!

"We had some difficulties," said Coach Baron," and the League will review the Referee's absolutely dreadful performance on the pitch today."

Fans pelted the Referee with beer cups (sans contents) and hotdog cartons after he botched call after call.
"He's paid off," came the chorus from the rowdy Spartan fans.

TSN's Gerry Dobson and Craig Forrest agreed in a post review of the match.
"The League needs to stamp down these destroyers of the beautiful game! He called no offsides, couldn't call obvious illegal tackles, and wouldn't discipline the proper players."

The game started poorly for the Spartans, who decided to play as if they had been off for a seasonal break. This led to an offside goal directed by an offside player.

"Where's the call on that?" were the incredulous calls from the Stands.

Then the Spartan team we know and love came out from the wood work. Two good goals didn't tell the overall picture. After the first half it should have been double. Our local heroes were poised to win their second game!

But the team decided to take a break. Throttling on half, the Gunners made play after play against Mark, who's netminding skills were tested in his first game back in goal since 2010. A break down in defense made it 2 - 2.

From there, it was all Referee.

Each time the Spartans got their engines rev'd, the Referee quickly created some call to force them off balance.

"I had the ball," related Carmen," and the Gunner guy falls over his own feet. Penalty for them."

"The Gunner goalie catches the ball outside the 18, everyone's looking for a call and they're laughing. Referee allows the play to continue?" questioned Paul.

The last straw was a text book offside. Instead of calling it, the Referee allowed play to continue, and then allowed another pass to a Gunner striker that was alone infront of the net. With all Spartans behind him, the Gunner forward made it 3 - 2.

The Spartans also received bad news when Ian and Tyler both went down, and Kyle limped off field. Without proper subs, Coach Baron decided to hit the field, but was quickly wrestled away from his gear by field doctors.

Not having the depth, the Spartans felt off balance and didn't make much of the last 20 minutes.

"Overall, we didn't play as a team," judged Coach Baron," but the Referee cost us this game. We weren't beaten by a soccer team. We were beaten by terrible officiating!"

STATS:
Matt (A)
Dismo (G)
Dismo (A)
Paul (G)

NET:
Mark (0-0-1) AVG: 3.00

Man of the Match:
Dismo

TENACITY PAYS OFF

SPARTANS TIE GAME TO END DEFEATED STREAK

Kevin Finds the Twine!

Amid storm clouds and torrential rains, the local heroes showed what they were made from!

The Spartans played with a unique flair last game, and actually started the scoring quickly. A long pass from Dismo to Kevin got the ball into the net.

"I don't know what happened," said Kevin,"one moment I'm tying my shoes, next moment there's a ball on my boot. I thought it was a spider so I kicked at it. What a goal!"

From there, the Spartans decided to take a breather, and quickly allowed the defense to tire and it was 2-1 for their opponents.

"Very sloppy," indicated Baron," just like the weather."

After a few line changes, the Spartans seemed to find what they were needing.

F'n J was brought down within the 18, but no penalty shot was awarded. Furious, the young superstar mooned the crowd of onlookers.

"It was pure mayhem," indicated one Fan, who became ill at the sight,"I thought I was looking at Grizzly Adams."

For almost forty minutes, the Spartans led charge after charge, something this reporter has not seen since the early days of this club. Eventually there had to be a break, and a goal.

And so there was. Dismo, leading by himself was brought down inside the 18. This time there was no arguing the Ref's decision. Never to miss an open net, Dismo tied the game with a perfectly timed kick that almost went through the other side of the net.

"It's great to get those," laughed Dismo, who elevates his status greatly through his deeds on this day's pitch.

"Although I feel that the lads can do better," stated Coach Baron,"I think that they showed balls and guts. And that's what they'll need to win the next game."

STATS:

Dismo (A)

Kevin (G)

Dismo (G) PK

NET:

Adam (0-1-0) AVG: 2.00

Man of the Match:
Dismo

SPARTANS LOSE HEATED GAME

GOOD GOALTENDING KEEPS THEM FROM SECOND WIN

Can't Buy a Goal These Days!

"I'm very proud of the boys today," revealed Coach Baron,"They played like a team for the most part and really tested the opponents. The best team did not win today."

The Spartans were unusual in that they dominated the game from start to finish. A few sloppy and unlucky plays, plus an own goal, sealed their fate against a red hot goalie.

"I'm not sure how he gets those," yelled an exasperated Abe, who tested the goalie with some fine shots.

"It was frustrating for Spartan Fans," commented Commentator Jason de Bos," who saw their team at their best. I was particularily impressed with the work of Scott and F'n J, who both were playing hard and pulled the team out of some great pickles."

Our heroes went down by one, after a tricky shot moved past the goalkeeper and into the net.

Things were quickly tied, when Scott sent a pass to Matt, who is rarely one to miss such a gift.

The opponents scored again on a lead in that simply had more dodging skills than anything else.

Back to Scott, who found Dismo with a blistering top up. Game tied.

A late own goal off a corner kick finished the game off, despite so gallant and often interesting moves by the Spartan crew.

"There's nothing that these guys should blame themselves about," finished Coach Baron."the biggest things are being done...now comes the fine tuning!"

STATS:
GOALS:
Scott (A)
Matt (G)
Scott (A)
Dismo (G)

NET:
Paul (1-0-2) AVG: 2.67

Man of the Match:
Justin

SPARTANS LOSE RAUCOUS AFFAIR

IN FIGHTING TAKES ITS TOLL ON THE TEAM

Dave Scores from the Penalty Kick!

"The team still has a lot of growing to do," said Baron after the second loss of the season.

Although the team looked sharp in the first half, there were some disappointing moments.

Infighting seemed to blow up in the locker room. Although mates were quick to separate arguing members, the Baron was not impressed.

"Teams that have intense disagreements typically do not win," reminded Baron."I, of course, speak about the debacle that was Bayern Muenchen. Talented team, but didn't trust each other. That's spells disaster."

Numerous yellow cards were handed out during the match, as the refereee was not taking any lip from the players.

The game also featured two penalty shots in the second half.

"The officiating was questionable," commented Gerry Dobson of TSN," but so was some of the plays"

Although the Spartans lost 3-1, there is optimism for the next game.
"It may get rained out," revealed one fan.

STATS:
Dave (1) PK

NET:
Paul (1-0-1) AVG: 2.50

Man of the Match
Justin

SPARTANS WIN FIRST OF SEASON

BARON SAYS "TEAM WORK" WON THE GAME

'Nuff Said!

"There's no formation that can save this team," said Baron, still injured from last week,"but there is a team that can win this formation...and we found it this game!"

Jostling his players about, the ex-Borussia Dortmund star found a winning combination.

Things started well, with the Spartans sending the ball into the Darlington FC 18 time and time again. For the first 30 minutes, it was all Spartans.

Then...tragedy! A miscue by the players allowed a blooper to pass goalkeeper Paul.

"Not sure what happened there," returned Paul in a post game interview with CHEX TV,"I thought they had it, but the ground was wet, and the ball seemed to stall in the divet."

This seemed to ignite the Spartans.

Superstar Justin simply crushed the ball into the net after the Keeper took out Kevin.

"I told you whining bitches that I was the best! And here it is...F'n J in every way!"

From there, it was all Spartans.

Second half, in what can only be described as the worst looking goal of all year, Scott tripped, headed the ground ball to Carmen who delivered a blister into the twine.

"I'm not sure what he wanted to do," explained Carmen,"I didn't think the header on the ground would work, so I improvised, closed my eyes and hoped for the best."

2-1 Spartans.

Scott, who has been playing in a shell as of late, finally broke out, making the Darlington FC defense look like pylons at times. After some quick moves, he finally found the back of the net, ending his one game drought.

"I know that I owed it to Baron for giving me this chance after my ejection from Chelsea," an excited Scott commented,"and I finally made good. It's been so long since I've scored for the Spartans, and this is a new phase in my career."

3-1 Spartans.

As the game neared its end, the Spartans broke discipline to allow the hosts to score one more to make it 3-2. But as the game whistle went, Baron and his team knew that a new leaf had been turned.

"First win, second game," recited Baron,"if the team can maintain focus, we can be a top 5 team easily. I'm very proud of my Spartans today!"

STATS:

Matt (A)

Justin (G)

Scott (A)

Carmen (G)

Ian (GWA)

Scott (GWG)

NET:

Paul (1-0-0) AVG: 2.00

Man of the Match
Dan

IN OTHER NEWS:

CAN ABE GET A HEADER GOAL?

The young ex-Porto Forward gave a text book display of headers during the game, including a nifty one that the goalkeeper just got a piece.

"My dream is to get a hattie with my head!"

WELCOME BACK DAVE

Dave, noticeably absent from last game, was working hard in his centre position.

"F'n J is spouting off on stuff, but I don't care. It's all about winning, and we're all winners today."

FIRST GAME, FIRST LOSS

UNDISCIPLINED SPARTANS CAN ONLY GET BETTER

Opposing Goalie Goes for the Man!

"The team definitely got better as the game went on," said Baron, who took over the reins of Captain this year.

The team itself looked both jittery and professional in the early first period.

Tragedy came when the Baron was stricken with a severe muscle affliction.
"One minute I'm standing waiting for the corner, and then I'm down on the ground. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced."

Baron was taken to team physicians and did not return to the field.

The Spartans seemed to tap the old energy of years previous, giving up three goals from within the 18.

"We're not sure what happened," said Gerry Dobson, commentating yet again for the Spartans."They covered the long shots, the obvious passes, but failed to clear the short dribbles, which cost them big".

Hope came in the form of a nifty pass from Kevin to Anders.

Kevin, fresh from his sabbatical in the Jamaican League, was a welcome addition to the Spartans.
"I saw the fresh pass, and let it in the crease for Anders. Text book play!"

Anders, congratulated by the team was more shocked than anything else.
"I scored. I actually scored!" he yelled and ran off the field. He would return later after a celebratory orange.

The game was marked with some controversy.

After the Village Inn goalie cold cocked a Spartan without a card, the Spartans seemed to lose discipline.
"It was embarassing," related F'n J,"that I didn't get a chance to score. But with Baron hobbling on the side like a wounded duck, it was hard to concentrate."

"We had some great chances," Baron indicated on his Soccer Map 3000," but in the end we did a lot wrong that needs to be addressed in the future game Sunday."

STATS:
Kevin (A)
Anders (G)

NET:
Trevor (0-0-1) AVG: 4.00

Man of the Match
Ian

A MAN IN PERSPECTIVE

IS JUSTIN THE "SPARTAN SAVIOUR" OF 2012?

Justin on the Season of his Career?

"The Baron's Cup was a load of shit!"
Strong words from the man formally known as Captain J.
"I mean, I scored and assisted on so many more than what was listed. C'mon! Dave never came close to the on field prowess I had that day. The officials should be fined and fired for screwing me!"

Pundits and Experts agree that Justin is probably the most electrifying Spartan in recent memory to hit the field.

"It's Flyin' J this year folks," greeted F'n J as he signed autographs and kicked the ball around for a special children's camp.

Flyin J has much to atone after his lacklustre 2011. After missing games due to groin issues and failing to score on almost 37 open nets, the young striker is eager to put all that behind him.

"I'm not sure it was quite 37 open nets, but the point is that had I really worked each game, I would have scored three times as many goals. For God's sake, I even got Baron to score!"

The Baron, new captain of the team, was overjoyed with the new spark on the team.
"F'n J joins a new batch of raw recruits. We have Phil fresh from his 18 year hiatus from Team Canada. We have the Suke brothers who played well in the Walloon Regionals, and Scott, who is reportedly holder of the strongest kick in the FAD. I think we're ready to win a game this year, and possibly tie."

Perennial favourite Dave, who is sadly missing the first kick off, was more reflective of the Spartan potential.
"Look, as I see it Flyin' J might score a few goals, but who's going to fish the kettle out of the fire? Me. All me. Me and those shiney boots. Ka-Chow! Now that's stardom!"

While the Spartans may never put on a game that will fill the stands, atleast their crazy antics provide amusement worth every penny!

Kick off for the 2012 season begins May 27th at 1800h.

WARNER BREMEN REPEATS!

SLOW START AWAKENS BARON'S CUP CHAMPION

Kevin gets the Customary Victory Trampling from the team!

This year's Baron's Cup was not one that will be remembered for its great goals, fantatic plays or displays of professional sportmanship. But it will mark the record books as a repeat win for football giants Warner Bremen.

"I'm totally off my pile!" Captain Kevin exclaimed as he drank from the ancient chalice." I'm not even sure if this is that togo party from my college year at Waterloo when I kissed that guy."

Delirious from imbibing the mossy contents mixed with some beer, the Warner Bremen Captain quickly stripped to his knickers and strolled out into the hot evening sun.

Police were quick to respond and curious onlookers were offered medical care.

"I'm not sure what happened," said a dejected Captain Dave of Bayern Holstock." we were just leaving and Kevin comes out and goes streaking. It was horrible...just horrible."

Pundits and Football experts agree that Bayern's 4-2 lead at half was the catalyst.

"The Bayern Holstock players looked sloppy and mishandled in the second," reported Gerry Dobson of TSN," in fact the only man on the field that didn't look like he had started celebrating was Kyle, who scored a hattie in the second."

"Right you are Gerry," commented fellow commenter Craig Forrest," unbelievable as it sounds, Bayern defeated themselves."

Superstar Justin, always a presence on and off the field, secured the Golden Boot for his contribution in delivering Warner Bremen to their second Cup.

"Dave (Bayern Holstock), always tries, but just never finds a way to beat me. It's becoming quite a common place I'm afraid that the old boy simply can't keep up with this young super star!" said J, as he left the field to a waiting limo filled with women and alcohol,"cause that's the way I roll"

Meanwhile, celebrating fans lit fire to numerous trees and garbage cans in a scene more on the lines of a Stanley Cup final. Police were quickly brought in, and horses quickly broke up the 7 man riot.

STATS:

First Half:
Bayern Holstock: 4
Warner Breman : 2

Second Half:
Bayern Holstock: 7
Warner Bremen : 11

BLUE BOOT:
Justin (WB): 4A, 3G = 10 points
Dave (BH) : 3A, 3G = 9 points
Dismo (BH): 3G = 6 points
Chris (WB): 3G = 6 points
Peter (WB): 2G = 4 points
Kyle (BH): 2G = 4 points
Phil (WB): 1G = 2 points
Paul (WB): 1G = 2 points
Paddy (WB): 1G = 2 points
Kevin (WB): 1A = 1 point
Anders (WB):  1A = 1 point
Paul P (Goalie): 1A = 1 point

THE BARON'S CUP

VAUNTED TROPHY UP FOR GRABS

Can Warner Bremen Repeat?

"The simple answer is...YES!" gloated Captain Warner of Warner Bremen."I have assembled the greatest team in existance. Even Borussia Dortmund would fear us!"

The Baron's Cup has a long and prestigious history in this second year of its running. Football and Soccer players from all over the globe will come to Oshawa for a chance to win it.

According to WikiPedia, the Baron's Cup is
"...an aged bottle of Becks that has something growing inside of it. Overaged and out of practice players spend the day attempting to regain their lost youth. Fights often occur over whether they are called Footballers and Soccerers. The winner drinks from the bottle, which illicits a drug induced catatonia."

This year the action will take place at the FIFA standard Civic Fields. With its plush surroundings, friendly staff and soft padding, this is one turf that you'll fall in love with!

I'M THE BEST

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! CAPTAIN J RULZ

Captain J accepts the Spartan Mascot and Team Goat

"I'm the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be!" shouted a jubilant Captain J as he accepted the Golden Pear award.

Pundits agree that Captain J was the most decisive force on the Spartan pitch.

"Dave, Carmen, Anders...they can all have a goal parade," laughed J," but in the end they're still three bit losers who couldn't even beat me when I took a few games off for vacation. Seriously. I scored when I wasn't even on the pitch."

Dave, voted by fans as the player with the most heart, downplayed J's tirades.
"Sure he can score a few goals...but he also scored on his own net, and got it in the pills from Baron. Me...I wore the flashy boots and got the ladies."

"Up yours, old man," was J's retort at the Spartan Spring Awards.

A fight quickly broke up between the two former friends, with Dave leaving the awards in anger.

"The main thing," said runner up Carmen,"is that we had fun and actually won and tied a few games."

Captain J, not to be outdone, offered Carmen a "sour grape" and the two came to blows. Security quickly escorted the team members from the building.

Captain J was later seen in a posh Toronto Night Club with medals around his neck and eager women kissing his trophy.

Baron, who won "Goal Keeper of the Year" was humbled by the experience.
"Trevor and Peter were great in net. They're important members of the team, and I hope that they continue to hold the line when I'm unable."

Baron's shut out of second place RUST was voted the best game by the aging Borussia Dortmund star. It ranked second in the KICK's "Game of the Year" polling.

Police were on hand to see if Mike or Simon were on hand.
"We haven't seen them in months," said SuperIntendant Mike Mitchells,"and their mothers are worried sick. If they are reading this, they should phone home"

A complete listing of the award winners will be available next week, as soon as legal proceedings have been processed.

"Hey...Sam here...how come I wasn't mentioned in this article. This is complete bull SH-T. I mean I almost scored a F--king hattie. Who the hell writes this crap?"

Sam...we don't care. Indoor is old news.