I'M THE BEST

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! CAPTAIN J RULZ

Captain J accepts the Spartan Mascot and Team Goat

"I'm the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be!" shouted a jubilant Captain J as he accepted the Golden Pear award.

Pundits agree that Captain J was the most decisive force on the Spartan pitch.

"Dave, Carmen, Anders...they can all have a goal parade," laughed J," but in the end they're still three bit losers who couldn't even beat me when I took a few games off for vacation. Seriously. I scored when I wasn't even on the pitch."

Dave, voted by fans as the player with the most heart, downplayed J's tirades.
"Sure he can score a few goals...but he also scored on his own net, and got it in the pills from Baron. Me...I wore the flashy boots and got the ladies."

"Up yours, old man," was J's retort at the Spartan Spring Awards.

A fight quickly broke up between the two former friends, with Dave leaving the awards in anger.

"The main thing," said runner up Carmen,"is that we had fun and actually won and tied a few games."

Captain J, not to be outdone, offered Carmen a "sour grape" and the two came to blows. Security quickly escorted the team members from the building.

Captain J was later seen in a posh Toronto Night Club with medals around his neck and eager women kissing his trophy.

Baron, who won "Goal Keeper of the Year" was humbled by the experience.
"Trevor and Peter were great in net. They're important members of the team, and I hope that they continue to hold the line when I'm unable."

Baron's shut out of second place RUST was voted the best game by the aging Borussia Dortmund star. It ranked second in the KICK's "Game of the Year" polling.

Police were on hand to see if Mike or Simon were on hand.
"We haven't seen them in months," said SuperIntendant Mike Mitchells,"and their mothers are worried sick. If they are reading this, they should phone home"

A complete listing of the award winners will be available next week, as soon as legal proceedings have been processed.

"Hey...Sam here...how come I wasn't mentioned in this article. This is complete bull SH-T. I mean I almost scored a F--king hattie. Who the hell writes this crap?"

Sam...we don't care. Indoor is old news.

SEASON ENDS ON A WHIMPER

TEAM CAN'T DECIDE ON THEIR FORMATION

Sparty Ball says "That's all folks"

In their inaugural indoor season, the Spartans managed to secure themselves within the six team playoffs.

"We weren't happy about being last," commented Captain J," but this is our first season as an indoor team. Like the Toronto Maple Leafs, we're in a situation where we're in a building year."

Playoff Game 1 : Loss 6 - 4

In their first playoff game, things started out well for the Spartans.

Captain J led the attack with a quick goal with just seconds out of the opening bell.

Things turned sour, though, as the Royals seemed to find a weakness within Baron's goal keeping.

It was 4-1 at the half.

Faced with an overwhelming disadvantage, Captain J took Baron aside and offered him some words of encouragement.


Back on field, and the Spartans came out as lions. Pressing with all they had, the Spartains quickly made it 4-3. Baron was back on track, stopping some important shots.

In the end, though, the formation broke down in what is now an expected occurance.

"Some bad lapses led to our defeat," stated Captain J.

Although the game ended 6 - 4 for the bad guys, our local heroes proved that they wouldn't give up, even in the most dire of circumstances.

Special regards went to Sam, who, having the opportunity to net a hat trick, fed a fellow Spartan.
The crowd gave the Spartan striker a standing ovation after the game.
Playoff Game 2 : Loss 7 - 2

The Spartans, ready to come off their shakey loss of last week, were set to make history.

Unfortunately, such would not be the case.

In what can only be viewed as a bad game, the Spartans were lucky to walk away with only a 7 - 2 loss.

"There were a lot of heroes in this game," said Gerry Dobson of TSN." but when we came down to it, the lack of defense cost them big. Sometimes you can sacrifice your goalie when you're scoring huge goals. But this was not the case."

In what was probably one of Baron's best games, the Spartan Keeper was called upon time and time again to make stops against one on nones and two on ones.

"It was spectacular watching him play, catch the angles and take the abuse," related one fan.

"It's too bad," laughed Dave," while he had one of his best games, we had our worst."

"I had a lot to atone for in last game," revealed Baron," and I took those mistakes in here to learn. Next year we can only get better."

THE STATS:
GAME 1:
Captain J (1)
Sam (2)
Carmen (1)

NET:
Baron (6)

GAME 2:
Anders (1)
Carmen (1)


NET:
Baron (7)

SPARTANS ENDURE DISMAL LOSS

NEXT STOP: PLAYOFFS

Carmen goes after the Attacker

Fans were shocked and astonished after Sunday's loss to the visiting Gold Team.

"After two really good games, we were expecting more," said commentators Gerry Dobson and Lyle Elliot,"The Spartans definitely blew a tire after the second period."

The lone spot light of the evening came from Carmen, who converted a smart pass from Captain J.

"The Spartans need to focus on what they do best," commented Gerry Dobson," and that is working as a team. It's great to score a goal, but that's not the only thing that a team needs to concentrate upon. You have to ensure that the goal is defended at all times, and then counter strike at a suitable time."

With the playoffs coming next game, there's a lot of work that the Spartans need to do.

"It's all about team work," said the Wonder Pets, long time fan of the Spartans," without team work there's no celery at the end of the game."

STATS:
GOALS:
Carmen (1)

NET:
Trevor (4)

IN OTHER NEWS
PLAYOFFS MARCH 4TH
Spartans! Gird your Loins. Sharpen your steel. The time for battle and sacrifice has come!
The playoffs will work in the following manner:
March 4th we play against the fifth place team, the Royals. We defeated these guys earlier in the season, and can do it again!
March 11th we have a potential to play two games. Should we win the first match, we move to the Finals, where we will play for the CUP.