HEART BREAK LOSS

DEFENSE STRONG BUT NO GOALS CONTINUES

Fans are Wondering "Where are the Goals?"

Just before Christmas, and Captain J didn't get the early present he desperately sought.

Taking in a new goalie, the Spartan defenses seemed to rise to the change, recording a paltry three goals against them
"Our defense is truly marvelous," stated Captain J in his usual post game interview.

On the other end, despite some fine chances, Spartan kicks never found the twine.

Well, except for Anders.
The well rounded forward managed to kick his rebound into the net. The referee counted the goal, but moments later rescinded the goal.

"The goalie was injured, and as a result, the goal doesn't stand," said the Ref, despite cat calls from the audience.

"Idiot!" shouted the more well mannered in the stands.
"If that's all we need to do to recall a goal," related Trevor," then I'll just fall over after every goal."
"It's F--kin' ridiculous," a heated Baron retorted," the goalie fumbles the ball, claims that he's injured, and then it's no goal. Great officiating can be had here!"

At that point, down 2-0, the local heroes mounted attack after attack, only to have the ball miss time and time again.

A late goal gave newcomer goalie Peter his first loss, but lots of practice in the ways of Sparta.

"It was a good game, the guys played hard, and we have the back end covered. Now it's time to think about getting goals in the net. Less thinking, more instinct." Captain J foretold.

QUICK STATS
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Goalie:
Peter (3)

IN OTHER NEWS
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Is Tyler's Slump affecting the Spartans?
When questioned the other day, that the Spartans haven't scored since Tyler's skid, the young mid-fielder offered this node of advice.
"Sometimes the easiest things are hardest to achieve."

Dave's Magic Shoes Doesn't Break Curse
Centre midfielder Dave is trying different things to break his slump. Dave hasn't seen the back of the net since Justin surpassed him in the goal standings.
Last game he paraded around the field in new white shoes.
"I'm doing my part to change the fate of this team. Next I'll dye my hair or shave it off like Baron."

Mike Makes his Mark
Mark, recovering from untold injuries, recently told the Toronto Star that mid field fullback Mike was one of the most tenacious players he's seen on the Spartans.
"I mean, the guy keeps going after his man, even when that marked man has cleared him. It shows intensity, and especially testicular fortitude."

SPARTAN SKID CONTINUES

GOOD GOALTENDING MARRED BY LACK OF SCORING

Shake the Joystick to make the striker Run!

"Our defending is impeccable," related Captain J in a post game interview,"the guys are covering the men, limiting the shots, and the goalers are doing the rest. But our strikers are double guessing themselves. And that's causing issues now."

Captain J couldn't be more correct.

While Baron and Trevor kept the back end secure, letting in only four goals (two each), the offensive sizzled but couldn't find the twine. The likes of Captain J, Dave (complete with new boots), Carmen, Abe and Same were kept off the sheets.

"But I did score," laughed a joyous Anders, who promises to make the Golden Pear a three man race," I promise to make this a three man...oh wait, you just said that. Well, I'm going to keep scoring."

Under the tutelage of legendary German coach and player Juegen Klinnsmann, the Spartans have recovered from their disastrous loss last week, and had numerous chances.

"The system is working, but is slow," said Klinnsmann,"but we'll see results soon."

"Although we lost 4-1 today, the guys can be proud that they worked hard and the scoring will come."

QUICK STATS:
**************************************
Anders (1)

GOAL:
1st Half: Baron (2 goals)
2nd Half: Trevor (2 goals)

IN OTHER NEWS
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Is superstar Kyle hanging up the boots for retirement?
The defender has recently discussed his exit from the outdoor and indoor teams with Team physicians and trainers.

Simon returns!
The ex-Paris Football Club water boy recently took part in special training in South Korea.
"The people of South Korea are nice. They are very accepting, especially some of the women at the massage parlour."

Sam and Abe...dancing partners?
As games go, no one can hold a candle to the foot work of Sam or Abe. The two are known to carry the ball up to the enemy defenders, and then back to their own zone without incident.
"I learned this in training camp years ago," commented Sam,"as long as I have the ball, they can't score."

SPARTANS LOSE UGLY ENCOUNTER

TEAM CAN"T FIND THE NET DESPITE GREAT CHANCES

Oprah, long time fan of the Spartans, can't believe Baron's bad game

"Sometimes you get the bear," commented a disappointed Justin,"sometimes the bear gets you."

These words on the heel of Sunday's disgusting loss to the Yellow Team.

Although there were flashes of superiority, the Spartans seemed to come short time after time when it was time to finish the play.

"I don't know what was going on," said Sam in a post game interview," one point I have the ball, the next time Baron is on the ground and it's 19-0."

Goalkeeper Baron, on track for the Golden Glove, experienced his worst game ever.
"Never have I conceded that many goals," explained the ex-Bundesliga champion," whether is was outdoor, FAW or this league. I'll obviously be looking at the tapes and seeing what I did wrong. It's hard for a team to win when it's goaltender can't get his shit together."

Pundits were quick to point out that Baron's lack of skill this game was "like a blue moon", but also added:
"Time and time again, the Spartans didn't check their attackers. So the attackers shook off their shadows and had a virtual one on one. If Baron is playing his game, that's acceptable. But if Baron is shakey, like he was, that's a recipe for disaster."

The lone bright spot in all this was Captain J's lone goal.
"Dave, go F**k yourself. You ain't coming out with this Golden Pear, and you ain't even scoring. What gives? You're doing more diving and jive talkin' than actual work on the field."

Although Dave had no comment, he did indicate that he'd bring his game this Sunday against the Royals

We shall see.

QUICK STATS
*******************************
Captain J (1)


Baron 1-0-1 AVG: 4.50


IR:
Mark
Kyle
Anders
Steve

IN OTHER NEWS
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Analysts Craig Forrest and Gerry Dobson recently had something to say about Abe.
"The winger is impressive with his feet, there's no doubt about it. Unfortunately his lack of quick reactions is costing him the Golden Pear. We feel that if we see him use those skills more strategically, he'll be THE striker on the team"

Will the FAW continue to support the Spartans?
Sunday's game saw FAW sensation Dave show some mad skillz on the field.
"I felt like I was 21 years old again. Well, maybe not quite 21, since I had a smaller penis then. But definitely felt as if I was the best man on the field. It simply goes to show that the FAW is second to none in personality or football on field management.

Is Carmen the next best thing for the Spartans?
In a recent interview, former English Captain Beckham had this to say about the star:
"he's got the groove...he's got the moves...he just needs to go with his instincts. He's thinking too much. He's like a well tuned animal out there. He needs to listen to that inner voice.