BARON's INVITATIONAL TOURNAMENT

ALL EYES ON FAW ARENA THIS FRIDAY!

Baron's Cup

Snap on your shin guards, tie the laces on your boots. The Baron's Cup is up for grabs this Friday!

Mentioned in numerous prestigeous institutions, publications and internet sites, the best description comes from Wikipedia:

"The Baron's Cup is a Beautifully decorated Tall Boy Bottle of Beck's with mould growing inside it. Many Footballers claim that drinking from the sacred Flask imbues the spirit of Pele, der Bomber and Maradona within them. Other simply pass out from the resulting poisoning after a wild trip. In any event, players have bragged about winning it for years."


Previous winners of the Cup declined to comment upon the award, but Beck's issued the following:
 
"We in no way condone the actions of the last Baron's Cup, nor do we officially support this sad display of over aged and out of shape men attempting to reclaim youthful glory."
 
The new hand picked teams of excellence, were specially created for maximum entertainment, after last year's finalists were not granted leave from prison.
 
"I got a number from a secret draw," said Captain Ian,"so I'm not sure what that means."
 
What it means, football fans, is that the pinnacle of sports entertainment will visit the FAW arena, this Friday.
Will you be there?

WHITE SPARTANS DOMINATE

DARK SPARTANS MAKE IT CLOSE

Newcomer Abe tries to put one past Sam

Technique and skill were the differences on this night, as the White Spartans beat the Dark Spartans, holding a 2-1-1 spread.

"They played well," said Dave, who made some great plays to lead his side to victory,"but we had the better players"

"I agree," commented Captain Ian,"they did win. Better players? Were we watching the same game?"

Super Star Justin, seemed to take it all in stride.

"It's not like I was trying or anything. I mean, really. I'll leave my best efforts for the pitch. So that the ladies can see what a real player is all about."

Newcomer to the Spartans, Abe, was quick to learn the new ways and scored a quick goal in the OverTime game.

"That's the way I play," detailed the ex-Real Madrid water boy," I tease the fans with some amazing moves that sometimes hit the back of the net. But no one cares if it goes in...it's the thrill of the moves that gets seats filled!"

"Abe might be right," said Fil, absent after a disastrous first game," but those guys don't know squat when it comes to Fil'ing the net."

With only one game left in the season, all eyes are focused upon this Monday's date with the FAW.

"I'm seriously pumped," laughed the Baron. When asked about the indoor matches, he was more serious." Each man on that pitch has a job to do. In the end, only he can justify his spot in the pitch."

IN OTHER NEWS:
Captain Ian will be fined for mounting the Baron in last's week game. Said Ian,"Baron was too fast, scoring too much. I thought I'd hitch a ride and learn something."

Thesbian Pat gains rave reviews for his performance at the Regent Theatre. "Watching Patrick is like cutting onions," commenting the Globe and Mail," it stings the eyes, and you're glad when it's over"

Doctors haven't cleared Chris from last year's Rib injury. Sources close to the Spartan Trainers indicate he's likely to wear the orange jersey this coming pre-Season.

Team Portugal has sent some Xmas styled soccer balls to the Spartan team for this year's charity fund raiser. Ronaldo has signed one special limited edition Red and green ball.

DARK SPARTANS DOMINATE!

SPIRITED CAPTAIN IAN NO MATCH

Dave makes another attack on the Whites

Despite late game heroics by Captain Ian and Fernando, the Spartan Whites were thoroughly beaten by the Spartan Darks.

"We had to adjust our strategy," said Captain Ian,"unfortunately none of us could decide on which one"

The team of Dave, Justin, the Baron and Sam were quick to jump on mistakes.

"It was almost a Turkey shoot," laughed Dave, who scored almost half his side's goals,"just without the shoot."

Justin, who played his first indoor game, was furious.

"I missed pre-bar drinking for this? I could have stayed away and we still would have won."

This match marked the end of Spartan only games. In a historic deal, the FAW and FAD are now open to either players.

"A great day for Football," commented Commissioner Campbell of the FAW,"and this should increase ticket sales as well as skill level,"

FAW games are Monday nights in the FAW arena.

I'M A GAME TIME DECISION

ANDERS TAUNTS FANS THIS FRIDAY

Is HE that cool? Evidently, YES

Last week's man of the match winner Anders isn't letting his new stardom get to his head.

"He doesn't want to disappoint his fans," said Lucian Poppetti, newly hired publicist,"but this Sparta FC star needs to examine what's best for his image."

Fans lining up to see the epic battle between ex-Toronto FC star Anders and English sensation Justin expressed disappointment.

"I came all the way from the Royale to have my chest signed by one of them," a disappointed Candy told reporters.

Ticket sales immediately dropped, as fans vowed to watch the game on Rogers Cable.

"He's just scared of my mad skillz," offered Justin, who visited a local WalMart to sign autographs.

Veteran Fernando was more reserved.

"I'll bring my usual allotment of women," he bragged,"and plan to see the site filled with my fans with each goal I score."

With all this hype, Captain Ian was quick to calm the fears of friends and fans alike.

"The coupon I got from the DQ Blizzard club does work at mulitple stores, and that's a plus any way you look at it!"

FAW-STYLE INDOOR A LA SPARTA FC

FIRST EVER UNDER FAW ARENA

Anders shoots! He...

In the first ever FAD game played within the FAW Arena, crowds were loud and the competition fierce.

"I couldn't hear the national anthem," commented one fan,"they did play it, right? I was trying to get directions to Brooklyn."

Although only a token few showed for the first game, excitement and great plays reigned. Ex-Bundesliga star The Baron, opened with the historic first goal, a long pass from Mark which found the back of the net.

"I like to start how I ended," said a jubilant Baron, who also scored the game winning goal in Sparta FC's only playoff victory.

From there, the sides swung like a see-saw, and the score remained tied.

"The only losers in this game were the no-shows," Captain Ian suggested.

"I was sick that day," commented Rocco,"Wait, it was Thursday, right. No? Yeah, Friday, Friday I was definitely sick."

Others were not so honest.

"Listen," taunted superstar Justin,"I use Friday nights to hit the clubs, pick up chicks and give them a wild night. Notice that I said chicks with an 's'. Anyways, I'll plan my club nights on other nights, although Fridays are usually easiest."

With the outdoor season only a month and a half away, the team is gearing up to make, what one observer stated, an impact on the FAD opponents.