PUNDITS MYSTIFIED

SPARTANS IN WORST SEASON IN FIVE YEARS

Captain Ian scores a Goal: Rare in those Days

Pundits are mystified about this season's results.

"The Spartan team is enriched with talented players, in all avenues. And yet they can't score, and prefer not to participate in the defense."

With only one win this season, this marks the worst showing in half a decade.

Team sponsors are agitated over slumping sales.

Spain has threatened to pull their Oranges from the Spartan benches.

Even new supporter "SQWEEZEE" seems poised to revoke their sponsorship.

With all this pressure, Coach and Captain Baron continues to expound the SCHWERPUNKT principles.

"It's very easy to get confused in the middle of the game," commented Baron," but our records show that IF the SCHWERPUNKT is used, we get a shot at the twine 93.4% of the time."

This leads Experts to ask:
"Why don't the Spartans execute their beloved and sensational plan more often."

And in that respect, perhaps, is why the Spartans are in the bottom five, rather than the top Five.

STATS:
Ryan (A)
Devon (G)
Devon (A)
Abe (G)

MAN OF THE MATCH
Anders