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| Captain J accepts the Spartan Mascot and Team Goat |
Pundits agree that Captain J was the most decisive force on the Spartan pitch.
"Dave, Carmen, Anders...they can all have a goal parade," laughed J," but in the end they're still three bit losers who couldn't even beat me when I took a few games off for vacation. Seriously. I scored when I wasn't even on the pitch."
Dave, voted by fans as the player with the most heart, downplayed J's tirades.
"Sure he can score a few goals...but he also scored on his own net, and got it in the pills from Baron. Me...I wore the flashy boots and got the ladies."
"Up yours, old man," was J's retort at the Spartan Spring Awards.
A fight quickly broke up between the two former friends, with Dave leaving the awards in anger.
"The main thing," said runner up Carmen,"is that we had fun and actually won and tied a few games."
Captain J, not to be outdone, offered Carmen a "sour grape" and the two came to blows. Security quickly escorted the team members from the building.
Captain J was later seen in a posh Toronto Night Club with medals around his neck and eager women kissing his trophy.
Baron, who won "Goal Keeper of the Year" was humbled by the experience.
"Trevor and Peter were great in net. They're important members of the team, and I hope that they continue to hold the line when I'm unable."
Baron's shut out of second place RUST was voted the best game by the aging Borussia Dortmund star. It ranked second in the KICK's "Game of the Year" polling.
Police were on hand to see if Mike or Simon were on hand.
"We haven't seen them in months," said SuperIntendant Mike Mitchells,"and their mothers are worried sick. If they are reading this, they should phone home"
A complete listing of the award winners will be available next week, as soon as legal proceedings have been processed.
"Hey...Sam here...how come I wasn't mentioned in this article. This is complete bull SH-T. I mean I almost scored a F--king hattie. Who the hell writes this crap?"
Sam...we don't care. Indoor is old news.
2 comments:
Captain J scored on me more than the rest of the team combined
You forgot to mention how Captain J and Anders got into fist-a-cuffs in the limousine.
Anders had to bum some change for the bus ride home.
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