The Man, The Motive, The Mission |
"I've been to places most mortal men fear to tread," said the smiling and refreshed Spartan striker."The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated."
Justin revealed, that after missing 11 open nets in his last game, he needed to find his roots.
The map took us to the Caribbean, where Justin made his first stop. On a liquid only diet, Justin imbibed many exotic forms of alcohol, putting himself (as the super star called it) 'on the line between spirituality and passing out'.
"In this state, I was able to see clearly the previous mistakes I made. I was able to formulate how I should have done it. It was very sobering."
From there, a plane took him to the mountains of the Andes, where Justin ran the length of the mountain ranges in just a few days.
"It's all about governing my body...not my body governing me. My body made me miss those 13 shots. So now I tell my body to go F--k itself."
Finally, under exhaustian and dehydration, the Spartan super star achieved total zen on the top of the highest mountain. Braving snows, Yeti and the vultures, he had found his moment.
"It was humbling. After all...I'm the best there is out there. I could play for Borussia Dortmund, Real Madrid, Manchester United. But I'm here to lend my support to the Spartans. And that it where it all became clear. Maybe it was the mushrooms, maybe my body falling into hyperthermia. But I achieved total peace and clarity."
With the return of Spartan great Justin, tickets are selling off in quick batches for this Sunday's game.
"Justin is so sexy," said one fan who spent 2 hours in the wrong line up for Spartan tickets at TicketMaster.
Captain Ian was more contemplative.
"Well, he really can't get any worse. I'll be the first to congratulate him if he starts earning the money I pay him."
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