SPARTANS TO BE FINED

FIFA SAYS "THAT WASN"T FOOTBALL"

Captain J, Dave and Baron in a post game quick exit

The local heroes are in hot water this week, after the ludicrous display exhibited Sunday night.

Commentators Gerry Dobson and Craig Forrest had this to say about the seriously flawed outting.
"The Spartans showed no promise, no directive and no heart...overall. There was a terrible mixture of the great and for the most part the worst that soccer can offer. Pundits will point this game out as rock bottom in years to come."

Captain J hurriedly left the arena, pelted by angry fans and non fans alike. Other Spartans left by their own means, usually dressed out of uniform.

But FIFA president Sepp Blatter would not leave this game unnoticed.
"It has come to my attention that the Spartans have passed something on that is not football. Let us be precise. The beautiful game has been tainted into something ugly by them. We are reviewing their position, and have not ruled out fines or expulsion from the league."

FAW Commissioner Campbell issued the following Monday morning:
"Under no circumstances are the players from that game allowed to play on FAW ground until they smarten up and learn how this game is played. It's F!ckin' lame...just so lame...like a two legged dog."

Baron was moved to tears after a call from German legend David Hasselhof.
"He told me to remove his picture from my house, and cancelled our trip to Starr Burger."

Other Spartans have not been seen since the disaster on the 20th, and many have cancelled appearances and charity events to avoid the press.

IN OTHER NEWS
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Did Anders really get lucky last Sunday?
Reports from Spartan trainer Gus Benson indicate the contrary.
"Anders suffered a terrible tear to his ACL. I'm afraid there's not going to be any fun time for him until it heals."

Is SuperStar Dave's new hair colour an indication that he's intent upon winning the pear?
"It's not even the colour of a pear...but yeah, I'm going to suckle on the sweet essence of pear when the season is over."

QUICK STATS
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Trevor 1-0-2 AVG: 5.00

No Cards