SPARTANS LOSE AGAIN

LACK OF DISCIPLINE CAUSES BREAKDOWN IN 3-1 LOSS

Can I get a refund on the Season Tickets?

"There's still a lot of work to be done, I'm afraid," spoke a disgusted Captain Ian after yet another fine loss by the good guys.

Pundits and Commentators, including TSN's very own Craig Forrest and Gerry Dobson were in agreement.
"The Spartan formation worked well, up until they decided the formation no longer was needed. And that's just bad football in general. We usually see this in kids' leagues and adult women soccer once a month."

Politcally Incorrect bad jokes aside, it was no laughing matter on the field where many Spartans were despondent.
"We're afraid to play the Spartan Junior Girls team," said Fernando,"cause if they beat us, I'm going home."

Although Fil continued his run on the Golden Orange, many considered the action of Rocco and Andrew.
"Now those guys have heart," one fan was caught saying.

There were some heart stopping moments on the field. The Baron, ex-Bundesliga great, revealed that he had spent a few seasons with the Montreal Alouettes, after a steamroller tackle that completely destroyed a hapless opponent.
"I thought Baron had killed him," laughed Ian," but the guy got up after a few minutes and seemed to be okay".

With bookies now offering odd for another flawless (loss) season for the Spartans at 1:720, many fans and players are hoping for a windfall.

"Although it's not considered sporting," said an unnamed Spartan player,"I'll try to throw the games and fund my child's future post secondary career."

IN OTHER NEWS

Superstar Justin was a game time decision, as doctors weren't confident in releasing him.
"I bruised my groin," stated Justin," practicing three on one's and pulling the goalie. Wait...that's not recording right?"

Defender and Galaxy FC wash up Steve appeared before a Darlington Disciplinary Committee to explain his internet shenanigans.
"For the last time, it's my big toe. Where, ever, did it become unacceptable to show the injury to someone?"

Internet Sensation Paul dislocated his shoulder in last week's game.
"I want to thank all the fans for their support. I especially want to thank the guys for sending over those prositututes. Although we didn't do anything, I learned alot about touchless foreplay."

Golden Orange leader Fil is taking some time off to see his old team Olympiakus in Greece.
"First, you spelled that wrong. Second, I'll still be the leader of the scorers. I am not worried."